Hateball

My Grendel

160 page trade book.
6" x 9". Open edition.
$12
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My Grendel

UPDATE: Book will come with a NFS pin (probably As Ever...maybe Intentionally Broken idk yet).

I suppose it's kind of strange to sit here and write about a writing project. I also suppose I that I start most things with "I suppose it's kind of strange..." but hey, this is me. You got yourself in here, I guess these are the consequences.

I'm still not sure if this book almost killed me or quite definitely saved my life. Or at least this version of my life. It probably did a little bit of both, which—FUCK DUDE—is such a wildly dramatic thing to think and say, but if ever there was a dramatic project of mine, it's this.

The quick premise: I am a huge fan and acolyte of a book called Grendel, was written in the early 1970s by a man named John Gardner. Grendel (the character) is the villain from a very old poem called Beowulf, and Gardner rewrote elements of that story from said villain's perspective. It is a genius premise that was then executed to a degree of excellence that most people will never understand. It's that good.

THEN, in reading Grendel and becoming attached/absorbed with the characters, I projected a bunch of shit from my own life—in a time of emotional emergency—and wrote a series of essays that twirl all of it together. I also selected some songs and a few other bits that—at least for me—complete the picture.

Longtime followers and folks who have read The Hateball Compendium will see this for what it is, and recognize the voice, and smirk at the trademark this-would-be-charming-if-it-wasn't-so-fucking-annoying longwindedness but it is still shocking in places. For me. I would typically create something like this as a hot knife  or a hollow bullet to keep around and plunge into my belly during times where I'm feeling too good or too bad, but I've read it twice now and I think it's the opposite: I think this is a bandage.

Either way, it may be too close for comfort or it may not be. But the moral should be that you should read Grendel at all costs, and then if you're interested in seeing how I was able to relate that masterpiece to a Japan song or listen to me stomp around in the attic pretending I'm a dragon, give this book a chance.

UPDATE: The first 10 of these came with a 108-page zine—Interview w/ The Dragon—made up exclusively of contextless quotations taken directly from Grendel. This promotional zine has sold out and will not be reprinted.